Slipped & Fell Off My Happy Track....

  Well, I have avoided any posting because I have been way off my game.  And then I thought don't be a phony, the honesty of the battle with living joyfully is important.  It would be misleading to try to sell that I am always happy and can always see the happy side of everything.  But I really fell, head over heels down the hill for a while.  I was mad about everything, I mean everything.  Although I remained grateful which is easier than happy, I was annoyed.  Little things like the music that plays in shows like Greys Anatomy, the music that keeps you from hearing the dialog.  It's so distracting and annoying!  Endless commercials is another thing.  If they show one or two I'll watch, no big deal but when they show twelve I'm gone.  I am either fast forwarding or I've gone to throw in a load of laundry.  People in blinding bright spandex on bikes who travel in the road as if they are in automobile instead of on a bike.  Then they get into a group and travel three wide. Why?
  People who don't say thank you for anything!  I won't get into politics,  there is so much to be upset about I don't know where to start!  People who tweet every thirty seconds and have to alert the the face book world everything they have a coffee. 
  Don't ask me my opinion and then get mad at me when I don't say what you expected.  Stupidity...oh boy....why am I so intolerant.
  I know we all have our own process and journey and we are constantly evolving so why am I irritated with people who are far along in their process.  Shame on me.
  I am working on getting my happy back.  Lots of reading back to gratitude.  On any given day that you and everyone of your family return home safely it's a flipping miracle, honestly.  I am not going to let myself be mad...I just won't.  But I will wonder if the same twenty somethings that tweet pictures of their lunch will be tweeting photos of their newest prescription or the mailman arriving late or worse a change in bowel movements in their senior years??????
  Let's hope the hell not!!!     

Perception, Belief & Other Illousions.....

  What you believe is largely based on your perception, it's all about what you see or what you choose to see.  Your political views your diet, style of dress, choice of friends and on and on and on.  They all depend on your perception.
  Religion is a way in which a large amount of people will come to a shared belief system or perception of life.  Military service is another.  In boot camp you broken down and then build back as a unified team sharing a belief a cause a mission.  So it stands to reason you cannot effect change in your life without adjusting your perception or belief about a particular thing.
  Any time you under therapy they will tell you to correct a problem for example addiction, you must find the underlying cause.  You must identify and challenge old thought patterns in order to do things differently.  To address a problem you must admit that it exists.
  And we choose, we choose what to believe and what to see.  Insanity is defined by doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.  Knowledge is power.  Through knowledge or new information we are able to change our perception and beliefs and act differently.
  If you want a better life, if you need to change something you must see it differently or your behavior and responses will remain the same.  Some of this occurs naturally with maturity.  What appeals to us at twelve is not the same as twenty and definitely not the same at fifty.  Who has not said "if I knew then what I know now"?  There are things that are embedded in us that are keeping us from attaining joy and we need to see them in another light to change them.
  When you first meet someone you may be very taken with them and over time you may notice things that were not initially visible that make you feel differently and you choose to spend less or no time with this person once your opinion of them changes.  So open your eyes to the traits that are causes the sabotage of joy in your life.  Take a good long look you know what it is, face it.  Some old thought process is keeping you stuck and you can't keep and change it won't work.  Expose yourself to the information you need to grow and be who you want to be.  You can't beleive one thing and soo something else......

elle 

Tend Your Own Garden

  When you are very busy in our own garden it shows.  It's beautiful and your not in anyone elses garden.  I wouldn't say that the more self obsessed you are the better off you are.  This is not a plug for narcissism.  Just try to stay in your own emotional yard.  When someone needs you, asks for help or imput of course you would be there.  But it makes life so much easier if you do photoshop yourself into other peoples situations. 
  You need to practice to constanly monitor your focus and your emotions.  If you feeling bad, then you are on a bad frequency.  So even when a negative situation prevails you find a way to change your focus to another perception of that situation or find an entirely different topic to focus to produce good feelings.  Those god feelings even if other thoughts brought them to existence will put you in a better place  and put you on track to to attract more things that warrent those feelings.
  Do not allow the drama of others to get your eye or you will be lowered to that plain and attaract like situations.  Your children need these skills, teach them. If they are taught that thier thoughts effect their life and the situtations they find themselves in then they will handle things differently and feel more in control.  They will be less inclined to be afraid to take full responsibility for themselves.
  It may not be easy but it works, and it works everytime.  Tend your own garden.

elle

Cherish The Love You Have....

  Do not get comfortable.  When your new love works and has you both floating on air it's because you are not comfortable.  You are on your best behavior and you know it.  We fall in love with the reflection of ourselves in someone elses eyes.  it's a mirror that reflects back to us the image we would like to see.  Maybe it's an image we never even thought of but we like it it, correction, we love it and we love the person who shows this to us in their eyes.
  "He thinks I'M GORGEOUS!"  He looks at you as if he is starving man and you are a steak and a beer.  It feels good and you think even more of him.  It just would not do to finally have someone see the beauty you have dreamed of being and not give them value or let them go.  It's why conartists can do what they do. 
  "She thinks I superman."  Yup, finally a woman who not only does not reject you but sees a better you than you ever dreamed of.  So you over look her flaws and focus on everything that's good, oh wait, did I good?  I meant great, yes great; in fact amazing.  So begins the process of falling in love.
  So what the hell happens???  Well, you get comfortable and you take this person who out of all the millions of people in the world this you're something.  You take them for granted.  You begin to feel entitled to this adoration and the their personal value drops in your eyes.  Flaws become at first just visable then down right annoying.  This is the beginning of the end.
  You may even think that you can do better.  There may be someone more perfect who will see you are amazing, after all he or see did, so why not?  Because it's a mistake.  Come on the grass is not greener. 
  Keep the love you have and continue to love the love you keep.  Have gratitude everyday for the love and the comfort that you have.  Remember to compliment not criticize.  To support on tear down.  treasure not trash.  Make time not war.  Give grace don't gripe. Do not compete. Do not begome opponenets.
  Forgive, overlook, forgive....love all you can.  Cherish the love you have.  Love is the key word.  I'm not telling you to hang onto an abusive unhealthy relationship. I'm saying real love that has begun to drindle. Be a friend to stay a lover.

elle  

Water Finds It's Own Level

   You have heard that water finds it's own level but many people do not understand it's meaning.  It's meaning is very relevant to any discussion on attraction or perception.  Like attracts like right?  here's another one; you can't soar with eagles if you hang with turkeys.  And the ever popular; your are judged by the company you keep.  Now let's add in one more; if you insist on playing in the dirt you will get dirty.  If you are someone who reads the bible it will tell that merely thinking about committing a sin is sin itself.  the theory is that if you contemplate something long enough it will become more acceptable, less daunting and will in time, come to fruition.  The message is perfectly clear and coming at you in many directions.  It is absolutely essential that you avoid people and situation that do not enhance the experience of your life.  You cannot not be with addicted people or dishonest people and believe you can remain unscathed by them and their actions.  If you surround yourself with people that do not support your beliefs or values they will bring you down.  If you choose a relationship with someone and you love on different levels share different goal and you do not hold the same perception of loyalty it will fail and you will be hurt.

  Let your inner voice double as a mirror to locate like souls and you find love and success, joy is an attachment of yoking yourself with the right people.  It mentions that in the bible as well.  Do you suppose a christian woman would find happiness with a non believing man who ran with a crowd that drank and gambled?  Do you suppose she would find great pain and wonder why has she been forsaken in this love.  She was not forsaken she used her free will to choose wrong.  We do this all the time.   

  Choose wisely in your relationships.  Associate with peoploe who support your beliefs and value.  Do not associate with someone who acts in a way that is not in line with how you disire your life to be decorated.  You can love many people in many ways for many reasons but in the end if your end result desires are not in line the outcome is not going to be one of joy.  You must choose joy.  it is choice that is made when you choose wisely and when an aligment does not feel right do not let it take presidence.  Don't ignore the red flags. We always see them but we somehow believe they will change color, but they don't.  why make your journey more difficult by choosing associations that are not blended and headed the same way.  It's al about choices, choose wisely. 

  When you become connected with kindred spirits the relationship and the growth and the happiness even minor discord are easily and naturally experienced.  Choose joy.....

 

elle   

The Little Things....

  Why can't we just be content?  Why do we expect everyday to be like swimming in a chocolate river, before the limo ride to the circus and returning home by swinging on a star?  It's because we are so over stimulated by the ridiculousness we see and hear everyday that an ordinary day is not ordinary it's bad! A day that is peaceful and calm and safe is an amazing day.  Everyone you love is safe and at peace.  Maybe you found and extra half an hour to read with a cup of tea or call a friend you haven't seen.

  What about being thankful and happy that you had great weather for your commute.  Imagine being absolutely joyful that your day went of off without a hitch, that's it.  No band, no lottery win just a day that you accomplished things that needed to be done and you were able to do them and your world was peaceful. 

  This isn't about lowering your expectations.  This is about assigning happiness to so many more things in your life that have gotten a bad rap for no reason at all. Why can't I look forward to food shopping?  What about being excited to go to work; knowing that I am earning the money I need to take care of my family.  What if you were looking forward to a day doing the yard work you need to do to make your home worth a second look, fresh air, exercise.  Bonus, bonus.  If we found more joy in ordinary things maybe we wouldn't be so let down by the big things, the treats.  It seems to me that this is why New Years eve is always a disappointment and most vacations don't live up to to our bloated and distorted expectations.

  Change your perception.  Be happy with more of what is not what isn't!

 

elle  

More, More, More......

    It's all about love.  Love of anything emits the strongest emotions, even stronger than hate.  Gratitude is the constant profession of love.  Add love to absolutely any situation and it makes it better.  Any conflict of any size with anybody no matter the circumstances can be made better with love.  How, might be your question, how do you get to a place of love?  With gratitude; practice daily, hourly, minute by minute and an evolution starts to happen.  You cannot possibly practice gratitude constantly and not come ever closer to love than anger or jealousy or revenge or any other negative emotion. 
  The thing is; love given comes back, bigger.  You send send it out and is gains strength like a hurricane that has stalled.  When it returns it envelops you. When you feel bad, you have bed head, sweat pants with lint, you know the kind of day I am talking about, it is not chocolate that will lift you although it's not a bad attempt. 
  Take a shower.  While your in there start thinking about what you love.  Then be thankful for having received these things you love.  Focus on everything that makes you feel good.  Elevate to a better place.  Don't think about bloat or weight gain or ants that want in.  Ignore the green pool, the broken door and empty bag of oreos.   There will always be kids that won't listen and a cat that waits for you to lay out your clothes to take a nap.  Your family may ignore you all day until you begin to do something for yourself.  Then it's an emergency, right?  They need you!  But it's ok, it really is.  Breathe and put a smile on your face.  Focus on the love you feel for them to alleviate the frustration that creeps in when you are not looking.  I wonder why we accept and wallow in despair and frustration so easy, which feels terrible but we feel like treating the emotional ailment with love is so far fetched? What do you do to turn around a bad day??  

elle                   

Offense....Defense, No Sense

  Everyone is offended and on the defense, it's as if it's fashionable.  If you are not outraged and offended something is wrong.  All about me...oh yeah, that's where we are.  You can't think of anything except how this or that effects you.  That is not how it is supposed to be; I'm telling you this is not the road to happiness.  When you are very self involved it creates entitlement which festers self indulgence followed by greed and resentment.  Not a recipe for joy.  Gratitude for everything and everyone will encourage tolerance and keep thinking not just about yourself but about other around you.

  We have become a nation of babied, entitled brats.  During the depression times were tough and people struggled and suffered but they also banded to together.  They survived in groups and families. Everyone contributing for the greater good.  There was sharing, oh yes they did!  Now everyone gets a trophy just for participating and children don't have to compete or have their feelings hurt.  Life isn't fair but it also isn't bad.  We need to have a tougher skin and stop be offended over everything.  We can't say anything about religion or sex or age or money or politics because someone may become offended, wah, wah, wah.  The time we spend on defense fending offense is wasted. 

  I'm not suggesting that people anyone can completely verbally assassinate you and it's fine.  I'm saying that this country was founded by hardworking rugged diverse people who were free to speak there mind.  Not a bunch of cry babies that have an emotional breakdown if someone says something we don't like.  "I wasn't included", "I don't think she paid enough attention to me", "It was two whole days before they called me back and I had to wait", "My thank you card was so long in coming and wasn't very personal".  Just stop.  You don't need to be stroked like a cat.  Tend your garden, be thankful!!!! When you are thankful you are full not empty and needy and wait for someone, everyone to kiss it and make it better.  Drop and give me fifty, right now come up with fifty positve things and then tell me what difference it makes if a thank you card is late or if it comes at all.  Manners are great, but really did you give just for the praise and thank you or to extend love? 

  When you give love or with love you get love. When you only give or do for with expectation and need you will come up empty and no one can fill that cup I hate to tell you.  When you are full of need you are a grand canyon of desperation.  What do you suppose that attracts??  Give because it's good to give.  Help because it's the right thing to do.  Take and be thankful for everything that comes your way and stop looking to take offense.  Nothing can offend you unles you let it.  Offense implies you are a victim.  You aren't a victim, you have unlimited capacity for happiness, take that not offense!

 

elle        

Forgiveness Instead Of Anger...

  Forgiveness is the release valve.  When you cannot forgive you are only hurting yourself.  After all if someone has hurt or angered you intentionally and you fester with anger and let it rock your world then you are giving them what they want and you are giving them control.  If it was not intentional then you are wasting your time be angry and upset, all twisted in knots about something they are likely not to be aware of!  

  If you really think about it someone who hurts you intentionally over and over does not belong in your life, never mind your main focus.  And when you rage over someone or something they did you are giving them the floor, silly fool!  We hurt people love sometime let it go! Don't be offended.  I am dedicating a post to that this week because it is so important.  Honestly, most of the time when someone pisses you off they did not mean it. Their perception of the situation or your lack of information or maybe their lack of information has created a misunderstanding that put someone in the position of being hurt or angry. 

  Anger is so debilitating it paralyzes you and distorts your thinking. It raises your blood pressure and screws up your digestion.  It lowers your sex drive and causes pimples and weight gain.  Who or what is that important?!  Let it go....  Sometimes you just have to say "F**k it", you know?  It's up to you what you place priorty and importance on.  

  Get busy, work out, go for a walk, have sex, clean out that nasty closet...read a damn book! be thankful for everything you have.  There's a focal point, not the jerk you work with or your phycotic neighbor!  Hey, my teeth are white, my hair looks great, I make the best brownies around and today no one was hired to piss me off because I decided!

 

elle  

Green Eyed Monster

   Be ever so careful of the monster.  Green eyed or otherwise.  Jealousy, envy and resentment are by far the most lethal to your joy and abundance.  Be aware of how you respond emotionally, honestly inside the secret place where feelings come from, to things, events, gains and losses of those around you.  If you feel jealousy or anger when something good happens to someone else, you attatched negativity to those events happening to them and also to yourself.  Soooo, you have made a mark. winning the lottery is bad, getting a promotion, is bad, finding a great house in a great neighborhood, horrible!  When it happened to someone else these were your feelings so there you go!  Feel joy about good things happening; no matter to whom it may be.  

  Feel good when others prosper!  If you realize that your happy response, a true feeling of "good for you!"  This will put you on the the same frequency as those who have received any kind of good fortune.  If you dislike someone and something bad should occur in their life and you may say "oh, I am so sorry to hear that, it's to bad!"  While inside you're green monster is doing a river dance and making you feel so good about something bad happening, get it?  You are attracting negative events to your life.  You gave such joyful, soulful feelings of joy to a negative event!

  The things that you have positive feelings about, you will attract.  Remember that.  If you want to be on the winning side of anything you have to be on that team. You have to be on that frequency.  Seek people out who may have already attained the things you wish to create in your life and feel for their happiness as though it were your own! 

  It's all about the feelings.  Our emotions have the power to create, keep them on a tight leash.  The way you train yourself to do this is to ask yourself a question...."Is the feeling I have about this situation putting me on the same channel to receive it or avoid it?  What do you what to happen?  Decide soon.  I will tell you this, if you feel envy you obviously want it and you are pushing it away when you attach a negative emotion to someone else receiving it. So, with much love I say "knock it off."  Love is the fly paper of good things, not resentment.  If you see an acquaintance  who ahs put on a few pounds and you feel good about her back fat, get ready to roll! 

 

elle

 

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Walk It Off ...

   There is nothing like a power walk.  It's even better with a friend. Yesterday I walked with my friend, I'll call her Sara for the sake of the story, it's also her name. Anyway I feel great when I walk but I feel like I can go further and faster with a partner. Sara and I are particularly good walking partners because she one of the few who can walk faster than I do and she witches at me if I don't wear sneakers.  I hate sneakers.  I love flip flops.  Clearly, I know a power walk in flip flops is a mistake, I don't care I hate sneakers.  Anyway, if people have auras and I'm told they do, and I could see them, which I don't, I'm guessing Saras' would look a little like fourth of July fireworks.  Lots of color, lots of action.  She has a fiery personality that I enjoy.  She and I are both passionate about our families and try to be our best selves.  As far as I can see, the  only thing we really disagree on is some aspects of religion and sneakers.  Oddly, we are very much on the same plain with many differences.  My husband is a blue collar worker, hers white. My youngest child is thirteen hers is five.  I am fifteen years older but she in a grandmother, I am not.  I get a kick out of her.  

  Here is my dilemma.  We walk and rant, yup that's what we do.  The thing is it feels great, the walking and the ranting.  It's harmless we don't bad mouth anyone and have a good cop, bad cop thing going.  We pull each other up by the boot straps depending on whoever is is in a downward spin that day.  

  The ranting is mostly about frustration, you know, trying to make it all work, finding balance.  I think that venting is a good thing.  But I worry that when we are ranting we are attracting more of the things that frustrate, consume time and shake rattle and roll our nerves. 

  If you have an issue, say, with a child and you continuously talk about the problem with the child then the theory is you are keeping yourself on the frequency of having problems with that child.  You are supposed to discuss the things you love about that child instead. Give the love you have for them your eye not the problem. But that eliminates the ability to blow off steam.  So here's the question if I'm only thinking about, talking about the things I love concerning that child then maybe I feel better and don't need to vent.  But then I worry about denial.  I don't want to stick my head in the sand either.  Can you address, deal, cope and handle without venting.  If gratitude is my best tool is it my only tool?

 

elle    

 

  

 

Am I Being Tested???

  Since I have begun this journey to be the soul conductor in orchestra that is my life.  I have learned many things and some of them I don't like one bit.  I believe heart and soul that our thoughts and our commitment to gratitude are key elements in the level of joy we have present in our lives.  I won't let anything shake that; but I have to tell you I am being tested right now.  Damned if I do, damned if I don't, hence the  image I chose to accompany this post. Yesterday, had a particularly large potential to host a big, fat angry rain cloud for it's entirety.  I turned on my laptop and someone had posted one of those feel good little dittys...it read "when it looks like things are falling apart maybe they actually falling into place."  It turned out to be the words that I needed to hear to stay my course.  The trick is to take the focus off the source of upset and look for any little shred of goodness.  focus on it until you literally well up with joy and happiness.  It takes you from a bad place to a great place and puts in a position to attract more good things, hell maybe even great or unexpected things. 

  Back to the ditty, it occurs to me that my vision for something isn't always going to be the best scenario and I need to acknowledge that great things are coming; in the distance maybe, but they are coming.  I find a lot of people including myself, become kind of paralyzed when they take a hit. They recoil from healthy routines and wallow in unhealthy ones.  It is so obviously stupid I can't imagine why we do it. When I am happy I walk, listen to music and am very good about following a healthy diet.  When challenged I lose interest in these things.

  So we have another plus for gratitude and positve thinking, it's good for your weight and your over all health.  If the guy at the liquors store knows your first name and your neighbors don't you have some work to do!  The adversity I face right now is exceptionally difficult because it concerns my child and that is a big ugly spider on the toilet paper if ever I saw one.  I am scraping and clawing to not sink into an abyss of despair...I am feverishly saying thank you for anything that crosses my mind.  Today I was very happy to dicover a package of disposable razors I did not know I had!  I refuse to stop believing that everything is going to be ok!

 

elle        

 

Murphys Law.....

  If you don't know Murphy's Law, google it...I know it, but I don't want to say it, much less write on a post that would then carry the stain of it.  But I think you know it and I know that as positive as we may try to be there are just some times that negativity oozes in.  Leaving you wonder how it got in!  Somewhere there is a crack or a doubt.  Maybe your thoughts are positive but your not fully believing them and as such are not feeling the joy that should come with the commitment to those thoughts or maybe your being tested.
   I have been tested lately. Two things have happened that I hoped would not.  So the question is; was the hoping it wouldn't happen instead of believing it wouldn't happen provide the crack, the way in? I think so.  My bad....put down the tea , I mean wine or Cosmo. These make things worse not better. Take a nice long walk (this more than fifty feet, just saying).  Find that something good...I find it!  Smile too, even if it feels like it doesn't belong just do it.  YOU'LL FEEL AN IMMEDIATE LIFT.  Believe this set back is temporary and find the silver lining and focus on that.  Imagine the BEST case scenario and focus there.  Feel the good emotions that come from a foreseen great outcome and believe. No crack this time, no panic, no what if. Say " I am Happy" "I am ok, this is a set back that is manageable and I am committing my thoughts to the good things that will come from this.
  How do handle it when you feel you have done all the right things to be on a frequency good and uplifting things and yet something sneaks in???  Please share any uplifting processes that you find work for you....Everything is going to be ok....

elle

Teach Your Children To Live Gratitude...

  

  Teach your children to be thankful, to appreciate things.  Be sure they know that it is a great way to bring more of what they love.  It's your job to start teaching this at a young age so they know from the beginning that they have the power to create. 
 Thoughts are things. Attitude comes from thoughts and the feelings that evolve from them.  They aren't helpless. Their destiny isn't blowing in the wind.

                                          Thank you!  
 

Say thank you for rainy days of gray and sunny days warm and bright

Say thank you to the moon that lights your way at night  

Say thank you for the bed you sleep in, soft blankets and a pillows to lay your head

Say thank you for the books you have and the stories that you have read 

Say thank you for your feet, your toes, your elbows and your knees

Say thank you for your eyes, your nose, and your lips that say please… 

Say thank you for hair, it looks so good like that!

Say thank you when it comes out badly, that you have your hat! 

Say thank you for belly buttons and sweaters with lint

Say thank you for cherries and vanilla with chocolate mint 

Say thank you for your toys, your clothes and socks without a match

Say thank you for the dance you learn, the fly ball that you catch 

Say thank you for your fury dog, your cat, your bird, and croaking frog

Say thank you for guinea pig, your ferret and pollywog 

Say thank you for oceans and breezes and spaces

Say thank you sand that ends up in bad places 

Say thank you for onions and broccoli and peas

Say thank you for pizza and French fries with cheese 

Say thank you for doughnuts and pastry that you like

Say thank you for exercise and go ride your bike! 

Say thank you for birthdays and presents and cake

Say thank you for wishes and plans that you make 

Say thank you for drawing and music that’s cool

Say thank you for buses and learning and school  

Say thank you for beach days and snowballs and leaves

Say thank you for sweatshirts with hoods and long sleeves 

Say thank you for oboes and cymbals and drums

Say thank you for pianos and fingers and thumbs 

Say thank you for elephants, lions and bears

Say thank you for smiles and sneezes and tears 

Say thank you for your sister who fights with your brother

Say thank you for your father, your mom and grandmother 

Say thank you your families for kisses and hugs
 

Say thank you for everything……   
 

           For spinach……for bugs

elle

Meant To Be Or Not Meant To Be....?

  Everything happens for a reason, right?  People say it all the time and with my new attitude I have decided to to believe it blindly because I am happier that way. Plus it takes away any responsibility on my part for something that may have gone wrong.  If you can't change it there is no point in pondering it. 
  For years whenever someone said that everything happens for a reason I would respond "really, fine, what is it, because I want to know right the hell now!"  I needed to find the justice, the fair play.  I wanted it to make sense to me.  Justified events good or bad I could accept.  Not justified, and I was irate.  Only nice people, who honestly need the money should win the lottery and only mean, evil people with bad taste, who don't like dogs, who drink moxie should have diseases and bad luck!  This is what I thought and apparently I was wrong.  Real estate moguls  do win the lottery and some very sweet and lovely people are sick, alone, in pain, lonely, sad and destitute.  I am pissed about that still.  No animal or child should ever have to suffer for their innocence. 
  But I have come to know that I may not like it but my view of the big picture distorted or limited and I must accept that all things, good and bad happen whether or not it is fair I need to let it go.  Control the things you can.  So try to keep the evergy positve when you are dealing with someone who is coping with something difficult. Keep your thoughts in check so that you are in a good place.  Most important do not fume and stammer over all that is unjust.  Act positvely to effect change if you can.  When you can't, remember that stewing is just keep you in the frequency with the very things that are ticking you off......    
  The road to peace is paved with acceptence, tolerance and forgiveness ...

elle

Fear.....

  There is nothing worse than being afraid!  Your spine tingles and your stomach becomes a pit. Your mouth is dry and you cannot not focus.  Intense fear can be almost be an out of body experience.  If you have read my other posts you must be thinking that this is off topic for me, but it isn't.
  I believe in all the things I have said, I honestly do. But if I'm being honest there is still fear.  Gratitude is a huge help but let's face it, fear is like a mouse it gets in where it wants to, it's hard to get rid and leaves little pieces of  **** around to let you know it's there.  The things that scare the hell out of us, where do they come from??  Phobia based fears I think, are like parasites that attach to us as we grow.  It's something in how we are raised or some seed out parents planted that has come to grow. 
  But it's the other kind of fear, like fear of death, growing old, disease, loss, aging, poverty.  What do you do with that mess? First and most important is to force yourself to focus and quickly and on something good, anything good.  Oreos, that works for me. Shift off the fear channel as fast as you can. Now start the gratitude and don't stop until the fear subsides.  It can and will return but each time do the same thing.  "Fear not..."  Easier said than done.  The truth is that 70% of the daily things that come up and cause everything from fear to concern never come to pass or turn out to be a blessing in disguise.  The things that do turn are often not as bad as we think.  All I can say stick to the things we have already talked about.  Find something good to focus on.  Focus hard enough to bring the emotion of happiness or at the very least I will settle for calm and so you raise yourself to a more positive plain, use gratitude to stay there.  Imagine and believe that things just have a way of working out for you.  It's just your lot in life to fall in a pile of crap and rise up out of it smelling like a rose.  It works, it really does.....

Meditation Update:  OK, it's not going so well.  If the things I need to do life better are love, gratitude, positive thinking, random acts of kindness and meditation than 4 out of 5 aren't sooo bad.  I'm not giving up I just can't quiet my mind!   My thoughts are like a news reel loop and is pisses me off!  Even positive thoughts are noisy.  Maybe I will just take a break from trying to meditate for awhile it's not going to work if I'm mad at it........ elle

Choices & Perception

  I had been an adult for a long time before I was willing to take responsibility for my emotions, perceptions and decisions.  Are our parents so caught up in the power of parenting that they don't teach us to to be the captain of out own adventure?  No one ever told me as a child I could control my responses.  I had the hardest struggle with realizing that no one could hurt my feelings unless I let them.  I still struggle with that, even though I accept it as truth. 

  It makes any day more welcoming to know that you can control how you will feel.  You are quality-control in your day, all day, everyday!  I don' think I worried about happiness and being positive when I was young.  It didn't seem in short supply.  After all life was full of firsts.  There were just grand canyons full of things to look forward to.  There was a minimal amount of responsibility lightly shaken with the bliss of ignorance and topped with youth and a side helping of time and endless possibilities.  

  Fast forward to 40 or 50, not to many firsts left, but there are a few.  The excitement of looking forward is a little tarnished with "been there, done that".  Responsibility sits on your shoulders like an oxens' yoke.  The fact is you aren't young.  You are younger than some, but not young.  Everything including possibilities has an end in sight on the other side of 40 and more so for every year after.  Right?  Wrong, here's where you choose.  I'm not talking cups half empty or full, either.  Youth trumps age is a perception promoted by media. And I strongly disagree.  

  If you heard a song you didn't like you change it.  A boring conversation will have you excusing yourself and not returning.  Invitations from people you don't enjoy will be declined.  So choose to embrace your life at any phase, reject pessimism, reject fear.  Change your frequency.   

  Start with gratitude and start that way everyday.  Flip every negative to a positive.  There is a positive in everything, look for it; it's there. Keep your thoughts positive and your words kind and supportive.  Think and speak about the things you love, often and with passion. 

  Do not speak about other people in a negative way.  You want to align yourself with loving and thankful thoughts and actions to start the shift.  Learn to laugh at things that might have upset you before.  Your health will thank you for this.  If you are thankful everyday for everything about yourself including the things that aren't your favorites you will you will know you are of great value.     

elle  

Later .......a gratitude poem for kids and resisting the urge to take offense......    

Looking Back On Our Week

Sundays.... are for reflecting on the blogging week updating and tips about anything, quotes, affirmations and what's coming in the week ahead.....
  First of all I hope you are relaxing, you can't work everyday....so sit, read, walk, nap, create, just for today.
Do you have down time? How do you spend it?  Do you think you  deserve it?
Update on meditation:  My third try was again flooded with thoughts but it wasn't like the levy broke or anything.  I slid them aside and returned to quiet my session ended thinking that this is something I want to keep at.
  My fourth attempt was a disaster...I came away anxious.  This time thinking that if I can't control my thoughts maybe I am completely out of control, hense the anxiety.  I pulled out of the nose dive with my gratitude list.  Realizing that no one with so much to be thankful for is out of control or has any business being anxious!  Then I wrote a poem: 
I need to find a place to go, a place to still my soul; 
Just a place within my head, a quiet little hole.
I want to get there quickly and just be on my own,
no spa, no massage, no need to travel
A sancutary inside myself to let my mind unravel
If I find I get upset; my stomach in a pit
I'll meditate and find that place and crawl inside of it...

Well that is what I am hoping for but we'll see.....

I am focused and consciencous everyday to fend off anything negative without love or like or just putting a smile on my face to stay on the right frequency.  Putting a smile on your face is quick and handy tool we should talk more about....:)

elle

TIP :     Remember that thoughts have energy and they are things.  They are part of a creative process that shapes your life.  Whenever you find yourself entertaining a negative thought immeditely return to thoughts of gratitude.  Negative attracts negative, love and gratitude attract whatever you love and are grateful for......

Next Week ....The power of a smile
                      A poem about gratitude for kids
                      Gratitude, positve thinking and your weight    

Mind & Body Connection

  Mind Body Connection

Anyone who doesn't get the connection is going to have a problem. First and formost I have to say you look better than you think you do.  No joke.  We are all so hard on ourselves. 

  I read an article once; I cut it out and kept it because it made a huge impact me.  If I could find it I would post credit to the author and quote it, but I can't.  It was an interview with several men who said that woman with perfect bodies, (who are they, right?) are far and few between even a supposed ten is really an eight and a half if you really look close.  But they said that they became bored with woman who were to obsessed with thier body image to focus n the experience.  The hot ones were all posey and the sixes were sheet huggers.  What they really loved were woman who were comfortable confident and were focused on being presnet and connected both to them and the experience.  Confidence is by far the sexiest attribrute a woman can possess.

  All of them said that a woman who was extremely comfortable in her own skin was by far the hottest.  I don't think that you should jump on the couch with a box of twinkies and a milkshake, that may be getting a little to comfortable, but we do have to lighten up.  No more obsessing and chasing the all to alusive perfection.  I think comfort with your body image is just more honest you and for anyone your with.  

  If you are doing your best,  getting enough rest, watching the alcohol intake, exercising and following a healthy eating plan annnnd....... practicing gratitude for every part of your body everyday then your job is done! There will always be someone who would rather have your body than their own.  Remember to be greatful.  Be thankful and find a way to be comfortable.   More on meditaion and diet later...gratitude and comfort first. 

elle     

Your Mouth

Next Subject;
  Your Mouth.....

  Close it! Here's why; because it's true you know..."I'm made of rubber your made of glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!"
  Not in the literal sense of course.  But when you verbally massacre someone it puts you on a frequency of negativity, anger and dislike.  Your dislike of them invites others to dislike you, it happens cosmically. Realize that your audience, who may seem captivated, are all thinking the same thing "what's that witch saying about me?"  I've struggled with this.  I have been guilty of this.  To this day I have a difficult time turning a deaf year to it but I'm working on it.  I have made a lot of progress. I am a stylist and know how damaging chair talk can be.  I abstain 99% of the time.  If I say anything it's mild and not something that I would be ashamed of if it was repeated.  If I slip in my private life I have a rule that whatever I said, I must repeat to the person I said it about.
  Man up, ladies!  Say it if you mean it.  On another note there is a difference from expressing an opinion; eg; "I just don't enjoy the things she does, we haven't got a lot in common.  She's just not my cup of tea." Or launching a full on character assignation that leaves the listener almost feeling the subjects blood and guts all over them!  Don't say anyone has a fat ass or flappy bat wing arms and worst of all, chin hair, that's really low!  I'd also like you to please comment on this and remember life is hard enough without people tearing you apart when you're not there to defend your self.  I am thankful that I see this for what it is..a pimple on the ass of your personality.  I will very hard to eliminate this from mine....Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean....

Elle

Meditation Day Two

Meditation: Day Two 

 
  Well today went surprisingly well did I constantly fight the word garbage that clogs my head of course I did!  At one point I tried so hard to control my thoughts that my brain rebelled to the point of being Turret Syndrome like, with random, vulgar, nonsense thoughts.  I thought I lost control of my brain to a four year old....(tee-hee) poking me every time I tried to settle it.  But at last there was quiet!  I felt that floating sensation that surrounds you just before sleep comes.  It was nice and made me want more.  More peace, more calm, more nothing! Iit didn't last long before the thought vomit returned but I can clearly see that with a lot of practice it could be a beautiful thing!  I am thankful for a glimpse at self imposed peace.  Why is it so easy to put ourselves in a state of chaos but such a task to find peace??

Meditation....Hmmmm

Meditation ... hmmmm

  I am completely on board with the concept of gratitude and positive thinking.  I have learned that dealing with any situation from a place of love is another way to do life better.    But I also believe that we need to know ourselves, we can't be renters in our own bodies.  We need to be in touch and connected living honestly not with dilutions. I believe meditation is one of getting there.  

  But this is where I struggle because it involves quieting my mind...oh boy, no easy feat!  I have said many times it's like an episode of hoarders in there.  I am determined to get to a quiet and clear place. 

  Today I tried to meditate.  I know success doesn't come right away soooo baby steps are ok.  First I try to find a quiet time in my home.  Then 5 a.m. it is!   I decided to try laying down and letting the weight of my body go, let the mat take my weight.  Next I focus on nice images, ocean, palm tree, a huge closet with thousands of flip flops and great bags!  Ok, back to the palm tree because the bags lead to to many other distracting thoughts. Just the palm tree now with a hint of a breeze.  Add a sunset behind and some white sand.  A silhouette of a bird in flight in the distance, and then it happens....."we need eggs."  The palm tree is gone so is the sunset and it took the bird and I'm trying remember where I put the dry cleaning slip and I am suddenly worried that I have an item ending on ebay, ugh!  It was a quick decent into a shopping list, a growling stomach and visions of k-cups, news and email.  But the good news is, I felt good. It was a start and I will not give up.  Tomorrow I will try again, maybe even later today.  I will find a quiet place in my head! I am important and my mental and physical state are very important.  I can't be there for anybody if I can't be there for myself! I am thankful for any peace I find no matter how brief, no matter how small.


elle      

Believe It's Possible

Believe.....You can say whatever you want but it's what you believe that counts.  That's why placebos work and why delusion festers in many of us like a like an unclean sore.  It's why addiction is rampart.  It's why we stay in relationships that just don't work.  So the bad beliefs we hold are super successful and so we  get stuck in ruts that really are not to deep to climb out.  If we would only believe we could.  Sooo why are the good beliefs and the ones that make us strong and successful so elusive?  They are out there, I know there are people with huge odds stacked against them that can persevere.  If you realize that there are literally millions of events happening simultaneously in this world that could impact you in as many ways without a moments notice you have to see that anything is possible....anything. It is said that the definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing and expect a different outcome.  You have to change the way you think to change the way you feel so that your beliefs and feeling are on the same plain. So believe. Believe hard. Believe with feeling.... But most importantly believe with conviction and absolute joy!

elle

  

Are You Paying Attenion?

  

  Focus...sooo important. Sooo powerful. Giving a great amount of attention to something is like giving someone a key to your house.  Total access into your life.  Meaning that for good or bad anything you make very important and give large amounts of attention to will dominate direction and events in your life.    If you over focus on your children, let's say...and you should, but if you hyper focus on them and their needs and activities and moods and drama what happens?  You lose yourself.  It's the same thing with your husband or a diet or exercise, QVC or an addiction.  Be careful about your attention and time.  Diversify, and make sure you give time for gratitude.  Gratitude is the great multiplier of the things you love not obsession.

   Take time to meditate.  Spend time focusing on the little lift...the happy attack you feel after a quiet session spent in gratitude.  Let that joy create feelings of peace and happiness, wallow in it.  If you are having a problem with someone or something don't focus on the disturbance.  Instead focus on everything and anything that is good about the person or situtation.  Imagine a solution or several possible good outcomes and give that your eye.

  Someone once told me that Mother Theresa had been asked to attend a war protest rally that was expecting to attract thousands and she declined to the the surprise of the organizers.  She told them that even in protest the focus was still war and she did not want to particiapate in anything that would possibly empower the very thing they were rallying against.  She told them if they ever decided to hold a peace rally attracting thousands in the name of love that she would be there.....
  I am thankful to know that there are people that evolved and that enlightened.  Another motivation to to life better. 

Elle

Windy Days Do Not Have To Be Bad Days

    Windy days do not have to be bad days......

  Dont be blown by every wind.  Meaning, you can choose what you get upset about, yes you can, don't say no!  You can decide to be ok with something, you may have to think about it differently to drop kick it off the list of things you feel obligated to be mad about.  Now I am not suggesting that if someone is beating you or cheating on you that it's your fault because you haven't chosen to be alright with it.  Nooooo, not at all.  There are lines in the sand and don't use this post to move it to an uncomfortable place, ok???
  I'm saying that if there are so many triggers in your life that you feel you are angry all the time then something has to be done, knock it off no one likes a bitch and if you are lonely it will make you crankier.
  Step one; think of every single thing you can to be thankful for...even if it's just a pedicure you didn't smudge on the way to the car.
  Step two; figure out what you are really angry about.  Most of the time our anger is displaced. It's about something else entirely, get honest and admit what it is. 
  Step Three; choose, that's right just choose to find the thought process you need to make this ok; to take it off the trigger list. 
  I mean some of this happens naturally, if you think about it. Most of us mellow at least a little, as we age. Our perspective shifts and with it our thinking process; as it relates to that issue, does as well. Otherwise we would remain teenagers emotionally for the rest of our lives.  You don't have to be angry al the time.  You can take control and make it cease to be an issue that robs you of your joy!  You cannot be upset if you do not allow it.  If it doesn't compromise your morals, beliefs or safety get over it!
Let. It. Go.

elle


  

Woman & Gratitude

Day One..Life Log ...


  Just like you I'm trying to get it right, tweak it here, adjust there.  I'm in search of joy, I want to capture it and keep it, for a while.  I hope to be in such a surplus I will exude it and flow back to me in way I could never dream of. 
  It can be so elusive don't you think?  You have to be vigilantand tireless in pursuit.  Consistant in your mind set; ever redirecting.
  I know gratitude works, saying thank you every day for everything good or bad works.  I know that your beliefs are what decorate your life and circumstances.  The things you believe down deep will trump any positve affirmation if it contradicts what really truly believe inside.  In the following posts I will talk about some things I want to share with you that might help you as you try to get right.  I will log things I try and hopefully I'll hear from you.  I am serious about this journey.  I will not let this become the tread mill covered in clothes!  I learned I could choose to be happy when I used to choose to spend the first part of the day cooking, cleaning, ironing, vacuuming chauffeuring my kids, and the second half complaining about it.  I don't have to do it anymore and neither do you.  You can over time think differntly and change your perception.  Your perception will shift your beliefs.....

elle