Am I Being Tested???

  Since I have begun this journey to be the soul conductor in orchestra that is my life.  I have learned many things and some of them I don't like one bit.  I believe heart and soul that our thoughts and our commitment to gratitude are key elements in the level of joy we have present in our lives.  I won't let anything shake that; but I have to tell you I am being tested right now.  Damned if I do, damned if I don't, hence the  image I chose to accompany this post. Yesterday, had a particularly large potential to host a big, fat angry rain cloud for it's entirety.  I turned on my laptop and someone had posted one of those feel good little dittys...it read "when it looks like things are falling apart maybe they actually falling into place."  It turned out to be the words that I needed to hear to stay my course.  The trick is to take the focus off the source of upset and look for any little shred of goodness.  focus on it until you literally well up with joy and happiness.  It takes you from a bad place to a great place and puts in a position to attract more good things, hell maybe even great or unexpected things. 

  Back to the ditty, it occurs to me that my vision for something isn't always going to be the best scenario and I need to acknowledge that great things are coming; in the distance maybe, but they are coming.  I find a lot of people including myself, become kind of paralyzed when they take a hit. They recoil from healthy routines and wallow in unhealthy ones.  It is so obviously stupid I can't imagine why we do it. When I am happy I walk, listen to music and am very good about following a healthy diet.  When challenged I lose interest in these things.

  So we have another plus for gratitude and positve thinking, it's good for your weight and your over all health.  If the guy at the liquors store knows your first name and your neighbors don't you have some work to do!  The adversity I face right now is exceptionally difficult because it concerns my child and that is a big ugly spider on the toilet paper if ever I saw one.  I am scraping and clawing to not sink into an abyss of despair...I am feverishly saying thank you for anything that crosses my mind.  Today I was very happy to dicover a package of disposable razors I did not know I had!  I refuse to stop believing that everything is going to be ok!

 

elle