Slipped & Fell Off My Happy Track....

  Well, I have avoided any posting because I have been way off my game.  And then I thought don't be a phony, the honesty of the battle with living joyfully is important.  It would be misleading to try to sell that I am always happy and can always see the happy side of everything.  But I really fell, head over heels down the hill for a while.  I was mad about everything, I mean everything.  Although I remained grateful which is easier than happy, I was annoyed.  Little things like the music that plays in shows like Greys Anatomy, the music that keeps you from hearing the dialog.  It's so distracting and annoying!  Endless commercials is another thing.  If they show one or two I'll watch, no big deal but when they show twelve I'm gone.  I am either fast forwarding or I've gone to throw in a load of laundry.  People in blinding bright spandex on bikes who travel in the road as if they are in automobile instead of on a bike.  Then they get into a group and travel three wide. Why?
  People who don't say thank you for anything!  I won't get into politics,  there is so much to be upset about I don't know where to start!  People who tweet every thirty seconds and have to alert the the face book world everything they have a coffee. 
  Don't ask me my opinion and then get mad at me when I don't say what you expected.  Stupidity...oh boy....why am I so intolerant.
  I know we all have our own process and journey and we are constantly evolving so why am I irritated with people who are far along in their process.  Shame on me.
  I am working on getting my happy back.  Lots of reading back to gratitude.  On any given day that you and everyone of your family return home safely it's a flipping miracle, honestly.  I am not going to let myself be mad...I just won't.  But I will wonder if the same twenty somethings that tweet pictures of their lunch will be tweeting photos of their newest prescription or the mailman arriving late or worse a change in bowel movements in their senior years??????
  Let's hope the hell not!!!     

Perception, Belief & Other Illousions.....

  What you believe is largely based on your perception, it's all about what you see or what you choose to see.  Your political views your diet, style of dress, choice of friends and on and on and on.  They all depend on your perception.
  Religion is a way in which a large amount of people will come to a shared belief system or perception of life.  Military service is another.  In boot camp you broken down and then build back as a unified team sharing a belief a cause a mission.  So it stands to reason you cannot effect change in your life without adjusting your perception or belief about a particular thing.
  Any time you under therapy they will tell you to correct a problem for example addiction, you must find the underlying cause.  You must identify and challenge old thought patterns in order to do things differently.  To address a problem you must admit that it exists.
  And we choose, we choose what to believe and what to see.  Insanity is defined by doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.  Knowledge is power.  Through knowledge or new information we are able to change our perception and beliefs and act differently.
  If you want a better life, if you need to change something you must see it differently or your behavior and responses will remain the same.  Some of this occurs naturally with maturity.  What appeals to us at twelve is not the same as twenty and definitely not the same at fifty.  Who has not said "if I knew then what I know now"?  There are things that are embedded in us that are keeping us from attaining joy and we need to see them in another light to change them.
  When you first meet someone you may be very taken with them and over time you may notice things that were not initially visible that make you feel differently and you choose to spend less or no time with this person once your opinion of them changes.  So open your eyes to the traits that are causes the sabotage of joy in your life.  Take a good long look you know what it is, face it.  Some old thought process is keeping you stuck and you can't keep and change it won't work.  Expose yourself to the information you need to grow and be who you want to be.  You can't beleive one thing and soo something else......

elle 

The Little Things....

  Why can't we just be content?  Why do we expect everyday to be like swimming in a chocolate river, before the limo ride to the circus and returning home by swinging on a star?  It's because we are so over stimulated by the ridiculousness we see and hear everyday that an ordinary day is not ordinary it's bad! A day that is peaceful and calm and safe is an amazing day.  Everyone you love is safe and at peace.  Maybe you found and extra half an hour to read with a cup of tea or call a friend you haven't seen.

  What about being thankful and happy that you had great weather for your commute.  Imagine being absolutely joyful that your day went of off without a hitch, that's it.  No band, no lottery win just a day that you accomplished things that needed to be done and you were able to do them and your world was peaceful. 

  This isn't about lowering your expectations.  This is about assigning happiness to so many more things in your life that have gotten a bad rap for no reason at all. Why can't I look forward to food shopping?  What about being excited to go to work; knowing that I am earning the money I need to take care of my family.  What if you were looking forward to a day doing the yard work you need to do to make your home worth a second look, fresh air, exercise.  Bonus, bonus.  If we found more joy in ordinary things maybe we wouldn't be so let down by the big things, the treats.  It seems to me that this is why New Years eve is always a disappointment and most vacations don't live up to to our bloated and distorted expectations.

  Change your perception.  Be happy with more of what is not what isn't!

 

elle  

Forgiveness Instead Of Anger...

  Forgiveness is the release valve.  When you cannot forgive you are only hurting yourself.  After all if someone has hurt or angered you intentionally and you fester with anger and let it rock your world then you are giving them what they want and you are giving them control.  If it was not intentional then you are wasting your time be angry and upset, all twisted in knots about something they are likely not to be aware of!  

  If you really think about it someone who hurts you intentionally over and over does not belong in your life, never mind your main focus.  And when you rage over someone or something they did you are giving them the floor, silly fool!  We hurt people love sometime let it go! Don't be offended.  I am dedicating a post to that this week because it is so important.  Honestly, most of the time when someone pisses you off they did not mean it. Their perception of the situation or your lack of information or maybe their lack of information has created a misunderstanding that put someone in the position of being hurt or angry. 

  Anger is so debilitating it paralyzes you and distorts your thinking. It raises your blood pressure and screws up your digestion.  It lowers your sex drive and causes pimples and weight gain.  Who or what is that important?!  Let it go....  Sometimes you just have to say "F**k it", you know?  It's up to you what you place priorty and importance on.  

  Get busy, work out, go for a walk, have sex, clean out that nasty closet...read a damn book! be thankful for everything you have.  There's a focal point, not the jerk you work with or your phycotic neighbor!  Hey, my teeth are white, my hair looks great, I make the best brownies around and today no one was hired to piss me off because I decided!

 

elle  

Choices & Perception

  I had been an adult for a long time before I was willing to take responsibility for my emotions, perceptions and decisions.  Are our parents so caught up in the power of parenting that they don't teach us to to be the captain of out own adventure?  No one ever told me as a child I could control my responses.  I had the hardest struggle with realizing that no one could hurt my feelings unless I let them.  I still struggle with that, even though I accept it as truth. 

  It makes any day more welcoming to know that you can control how you will feel.  You are quality-control in your day, all day, everyday!  I don' think I worried about happiness and being positive when I was young.  It didn't seem in short supply.  After all life was full of firsts.  There were just grand canyons full of things to look forward to.  There was a minimal amount of responsibility lightly shaken with the bliss of ignorance and topped with youth and a side helping of time and endless possibilities.  

  Fast forward to 40 or 50, not to many firsts left, but there are a few.  The excitement of looking forward is a little tarnished with "been there, done that".  Responsibility sits on your shoulders like an oxens' yoke.  The fact is you aren't young.  You are younger than some, but not young.  Everything including possibilities has an end in sight on the other side of 40 and more so for every year after.  Right?  Wrong, here's where you choose.  I'm not talking cups half empty or full, either.  Youth trumps age is a perception promoted by media. And I strongly disagree.  

  If you heard a song you didn't like you change it.  A boring conversation will have you excusing yourself and not returning.  Invitations from people you don't enjoy will be declined.  So choose to embrace your life at any phase, reject pessimism, reject fear.  Change your frequency.   

  Start with gratitude and start that way everyday.  Flip every negative to a positive.  There is a positive in everything, look for it; it's there. Keep your thoughts positive and your words kind and supportive.  Think and speak about the things you love, often and with passion. 

  Do not speak about other people in a negative way.  You want to align yourself with loving and thankful thoughts and actions to start the shift.  Learn to laugh at things that might have upset you before.  Your health will thank you for this.  If you are thankful everyday for everything about yourself including the things that aren't your favorites you will you will know you are of great value.     

elle  

Later .......a gratitude poem for kids and resisting the urge to take offense......    

Windy Days Do Not Have To Be Bad Days

    Windy days do not have to be bad days......

  Dont be blown by every wind.  Meaning, you can choose what you get upset about, yes you can, don't say no!  You can decide to be ok with something, you may have to think about it differently to drop kick it off the list of things you feel obligated to be mad about.  Now I am not suggesting that if someone is beating you or cheating on you that it's your fault because you haven't chosen to be alright with it.  Nooooo, not at all.  There are lines in the sand and don't use this post to move it to an uncomfortable place, ok???
  I'm saying that if there are so many triggers in your life that you feel you are angry all the time then something has to be done, knock it off no one likes a bitch and if you are lonely it will make you crankier.
  Step one; think of every single thing you can to be thankful for...even if it's just a pedicure you didn't smudge on the way to the car.
  Step two; figure out what you are really angry about.  Most of the time our anger is displaced. It's about something else entirely, get honest and admit what it is. 
  Step Three; choose, that's right just choose to find the thought process you need to make this ok; to take it off the trigger list. 
  I mean some of this happens naturally, if you think about it. Most of us mellow at least a little, as we age. Our perspective shifts and with it our thinking process; as it relates to that issue, does as well. Otherwise we would remain teenagers emotionally for the rest of our lives.  You don't have to be angry al the time.  You can take control and make it cease to be an issue that robs you of your joy!  You cannot be upset if you do not allow it.  If it doesn't compromise your morals, beliefs or safety get over it!
Let. It. Go.

elle