Tend Your Own Garden

  When you are very busy in our own garden it shows.  It's beautiful and your not in anyone elses garden.  I wouldn't say that the more self obsessed you are the better off you are.  This is not a plug for narcissism.  Just try to stay in your own emotional yard.  When someone needs you, asks for help or imput of course you would be there.  But it makes life so much easier if you do photoshop yourself into other peoples situations. 
  You need to practice to constanly monitor your focus and your emotions.  If you feeling bad, then you are on a bad frequency.  So even when a negative situation prevails you find a way to change your focus to another perception of that situation or find an entirely different topic to focus to produce good feelings.  Those god feelings even if other thoughts brought them to existence will put you in a better place  and put you on track to to attract more things that warrent those feelings.
  Do not allow the drama of others to get your eye or you will be lowered to that plain and attaract like situations.  Your children need these skills, teach them. If they are taught that thier thoughts effect their life and the situtations they find themselves in then they will handle things differently and feel more in control.  They will be less inclined to be afraid to take full responsibility for themselves.
  It may not be easy but it works, and it works everytime.  Tend your own garden.

elle

The Little Things....

  Why can't we just be content?  Why do we expect everyday to be like swimming in a chocolate river, before the limo ride to the circus and returning home by swinging on a star?  It's because we are so over stimulated by the ridiculousness we see and hear everyday that an ordinary day is not ordinary it's bad! A day that is peaceful and calm and safe is an amazing day.  Everyone you love is safe and at peace.  Maybe you found and extra half an hour to read with a cup of tea or call a friend you haven't seen.

  What about being thankful and happy that you had great weather for your commute.  Imagine being absolutely joyful that your day went of off without a hitch, that's it.  No band, no lottery win just a day that you accomplished things that needed to be done and you were able to do them and your world was peaceful. 

  This isn't about lowering your expectations.  This is about assigning happiness to so many more things in your life that have gotten a bad rap for no reason at all. Why can't I look forward to food shopping?  What about being excited to go to work; knowing that I am earning the money I need to take care of my family.  What if you were looking forward to a day doing the yard work you need to do to make your home worth a second look, fresh air, exercise.  Bonus, bonus.  If we found more joy in ordinary things maybe we wouldn't be so let down by the big things, the treats.  It seems to me that this is why New Years eve is always a disappointment and most vacations don't live up to to our bloated and distorted expectations.

  Change your perception.  Be happy with more of what is not what isn't!

 

elle  

Forgiveness Instead Of Anger...

  Forgiveness is the release valve.  When you cannot forgive you are only hurting yourself.  After all if someone has hurt or angered you intentionally and you fester with anger and let it rock your world then you are giving them what they want and you are giving them control.  If it was not intentional then you are wasting your time be angry and upset, all twisted in knots about something they are likely not to be aware of!  

  If you really think about it someone who hurts you intentionally over and over does not belong in your life, never mind your main focus.  And when you rage over someone or something they did you are giving them the floor, silly fool!  We hurt people love sometime let it go! Don't be offended.  I am dedicating a post to that this week because it is so important.  Honestly, most of the time when someone pisses you off they did not mean it. Their perception of the situation or your lack of information or maybe their lack of information has created a misunderstanding that put someone in the position of being hurt or angry. 

  Anger is so debilitating it paralyzes you and distorts your thinking. It raises your blood pressure and screws up your digestion.  It lowers your sex drive and causes pimples and weight gain.  Who or what is that important?!  Let it go....  Sometimes you just have to say "F**k it", you know?  It's up to you what you place priorty and importance on.  

  Get busy, work out, go for a walk, have sex, clean out that nasty closet...read a damn book! be thankful for everything you have.  There's a focal point, not the jerk you work with or your phycotic neighbor!  Hey, my teeth are white, my hair looks great, I make the best brownies around and today no one was hired to piss me off because I decided!

 

elle  

Choices & Perception

  I had been an adult for a long time before I was willing to take responsibility for my emotions, perceptions and decisions.  Are our parents so caught up in the power of parenting that they don't teach us to to be the captain of out own adventure?  No one ever told me as a child I could control my responses.  I had the hardest struggle with realizing that no one could hurt my feelings unless I let them.  I still struggle with that, even though I accept it as truth. 

  It makes any day more welcoming to know that you can control how you will feel.  You are quality-control in your day, all day, everyday!  I don' think I worried about happiness and being positive when I was young.  It didn't seem in short supply.  After all life was full of firsts.  There were just grand canyons full of things to look forward to.  There was a minimal amount of responsibility lightly shaken with the bliss of ignorance and topped with youth and a side helping of time and endless possibilities.  

  Fast forward to 40 or 50, not to many firsts left, but there are a few.  The excitement of looking forward is a little tarnished with "been there, done that".  Responsibility sits on your shoulders like an oxens' yoke.  The fact is you aren't young.  You are younger than some, but not young.  Everything including possibilities has an end in sight on the other side of 40 and more so for every year after.  Right?  Wrong, here's where you choose.  I'm not talking cups half empty or full, either.  Youth trumps age is a perception promoted by media. And I strongly disagree.  

  If you heard a song you didn't like you change it.  A boring conversation will have you excusing yourself and not returning.  Invitations from people you don't enjoy will be declined.  So choose to embrace your life at any phase, reject pessimism, reject fear.  Change your frequency.   

  Start with gratitude and start that way everyday.  Flip every negative to a positive.  There is a positive in everything, look for it; it's there. Keep your thoughts positive and your words kind and supportive.  Think and speak about the things you love, often and with passion. 

  Do not speak about other people in a negative way.  You want to align yourself with loving and thankful thoughts and actions to start the shift.  Learn to laugh at things that might have upset you before.  Your health will thank you for this.  If you are thankful everyday for everything about yourself including the things that aren't your favorites you will you will know you are of great value.     

elle  

Later .......a gratitude poem for kids and resisting the urge to take offense......