Offense....Defense, No Sense

  Everyone is offended and on the defense, it's as if it's fashionable.  If you are not outraged and offended something is wrong.  All about me...oh yeah, that's where we are.  You can't think of anything except how this or that effects you.  That is not how it is supposed to be; I'm telling you this is not the road to happiness.  When you are very self involved it creates entitlement which festers self indulgence followed by greed and resentment.  Not a recipe for joy.  Gratitude for everything and everyone will encourage tolerance and keep thinking not just about yourself but about other around you.

  We have become a nation of babied, entitled brats.  During the depression times were tough and people struggled and suffered but they also banded to together.  They survived in groups and families. Everyone contributing for the greater good.  There was sharing, oh yes they did!  Now everyone gets a trophy just for participating and children don't have to compete or have their feelings hurt.  Life isn't fair but it also isn't bad.  We need to have a tougher skin and stop be offended over everything.  We can't say anything about religion or sex or age or money or politics because someone may become offended, wah, wah, wah.  The time we spend on defense fending offense is wasted. 

  I'm not suggesting that people anyone can completely verbally assassinate you and it's fine.  I'm saying that this country was founded by hardworking rugged diverse people who were free to speak there mind.  Not a bunch of cry babies that have an emotional breakdown if someone says something we don't like.  "I wasn't included", "I don't think she paid enough attention to me", "It was two whole days before they called me back and I had to wait", "My thank you card was so long in coming and wasn't very personal".  Just stop.  You don't need to be stroked like a cat.  Tend your garden, be thankful!!!! When you are thankful you are full not empty and needy and wait for someone, everyone to kiss it and make it better.  Drop and give me fifty, right now come up with fifty positve things and then tell me what difference it makes if a thank you card is late or if it comes at all.  Manners are great, but really did you give just for the praise and thank you or to extend love? 

  When you give love or with love you get love. When you only give or do for with expectation and need you will come up empty and no one can fill that cup I hate to tell you.  When you are full of need you are a grand canyon of desperation.  What do you suppose that attracts??  Give because it's good to give.  Help because it's the right thing to do.  Take and be thankful for everything that comes your way and stop looking to take offense.  Nothing can offend you unles you let it.  Offense implies you are a victim.  You aren't a victim, you have unlimited capacity for happiness, take that not offense!

 

elle        

Teach Your Children To Live Gratitude...

  

  Teach your children to be thankful, to appreciate things.  Be sure they know that it is a great way to bring more of what they love.  It's your job to start teaching this at a young age so they know from the beginning that they have the power to create. 
 Thoughts are things. Attitude comes from thoughts and the feelings that evolve from them.  They aren't helpless. Their destiny isn't blowing in the wind.

                                          Thank you!  
 

Say thank you for rainy days of gray and sunny days warm and bright

Say thank you to the moon that lights your way at night  

Say thank you for the bed you sleep in, soft blankets and a pillows to lay your head

Say thank you for the books you have and the stories that you have read 

Say thank you for your feet, your toes, your elbows and your knees

Say thank you for your eyes, your nose, and your lips that say please… 

Say thank you for hair, it looks so good like that!

Say thank you when it comes out badly, that you have your hat! 

Say thank you for belly buttons and sweaters with lint

Say thank you for cherries and vanilla with chocolate mint 

Say thank you for your toys, your clothes and socks without a match

Say thank you for the dance you learn, the fly ball that you catch 

Say thank you for your fury dog, your cat, your bird, and croaking frog

Say thank you for guinea pig, your ferret and pollywog 

Say thank you for oceans and breezes and spaces

Say thank you sand that ends up in bad places 

Say thank you for onions and broccoli and peas

Say thank you for pizza and French fries with cheese 

Say thank you for doughnuts and pastry that you like

Say thank you for exercise and go ride your bike! 

Say thank you for birthdays and presents and cake

Say thank you for wishes and plans that you make 

Say thank you for drawing and music that’s cool

Say thank you for buses and learning and school  

Say thank you for beach days and snowballs and leaves

Say thank you for sweatshirts with hoods and long sleeves 

Say thank you for oboes and cymbals and drums

Say thank you for pianos and fingers and thumbs 

Say thank you for elephants, lions and bears

Say thank you for smiles and sneezes and tears 

Say thank you for your sister who fights with your brother

Say thank you for your father, your mom and grandmother 

Say thank you your families for kisses and hugs
 

Say thank you for everything……   
 

           For spinach……for bugs

elle

Choices & Perception

  I had been an adult for a long time before I was willing to take responsibility for my emotions, perceptions and decisions.  Are our parents so caught up in the power of parenting that they don't teach us to to be the captain of out own adventure?  No one ever told me as a child I could control my responses.  I had the hardest struggle with realizing that no one could hurt my feelings unless I let them.  I still struggle with that, even though I accept it as truth. 

  It makes any day more welcoming to know that you can control how you will feel.  You are quality-control in your day, all day, everyday!  I don' think I worried about happiness and being positive when I was young.  It didn't seem in short supply.  After all life was full of firsts.  There were just grand canyons full of things to look forward to.  There was a minimal amount of responsibility lightly shaken with the bliss of ignorance and topped with youth and a side helping of time and endless possibilities.  

  Fast forward to 40 or 50, not to many firsts left, but there are a few.  The excitement of looking forward is a little tarnished with "been there, done that".  Responsibility sits on your shoulders like an oxens' yoke.  The fact is you aren't young.  You are younger than some, but not young.  Everything including possibilities has an end in sight on the other side of 40 and more so for every year after.  Right?  Wrong, here's where you choose.  I'm not talking cups half empty or full, either.  Youth trumps age is a perception promoted by media. And I strongly disagree.  

  If you heard a song you didn't like you change it.  A boring conversation will have you excusing yourself and not returning.  Invitations from people you don't enjoy will be declined.  So choose to embrace your life at any phase, reject pessimism, reject fear.  Change your frequency.   

  Start with gratitude and start that way everyday.  Flip every negative to a positive.  There is a positive in everything, look for it; it's there. Keep your thoughts positive and your words kind and supportive.  Think and speak about the things you love, often and with passion. 

  Do not speak about other people in a negative way.  You want to align yourself with loving and thankful thoughts and actions to start the shift.  Learn to laugh at things that might have upset you before.  Your health will thank you for this.  If you are thankful everyday for everything about yourself including the things that aren't your favorites you will you will know you are of great value.     

elle  

Later .......a gratitude poem for kids and resisting the urge to take offense......    

Windy Days Do Not Have To Be Bad Days

    Windy days do not have to be bad days......

  Dont be blown by every wind.  Meaning, you can choose what you get upset about, yes you can, don't say no!  You can decide to be ok with something, you may have to think about it differently to drop kick it off the list of things you feel obligated to be mad about.  Now I am not suggesting that if someone is beating you or cheating on you that it's your fault because you haven't chosen to be alright with it.  Nooooo, not at all.  There are lines in the sand and don't use this post to move it to an uncomfortable place, ok???
  I'm saying that if there are so many triggers in your life that you feel you are angry all the time then something has to be done, knock it off no one likes a bitch and if you are lonely it will make you crankier.
  Step one; think of every single thing you can to be thankful for...even if it's just a pedicure you didn't smudge on the way to the car.
  Step two; figure out what you are really angry about.  Most of the time our anger is displaced. It's about something else entirely, get honest and admit what it is. 
  Step Three; choose, that's right just choose to find the thought process you need to make this ok; to take it off the trigger list. 
  I mean some of this happens naturally, if you think about it. Most of us mellow at least a little, as we age. Our perspective shifts and with it our thinking process; as it relates to that issue, does as well. Otherwise we would remain teenagers emotionally for the rest of our lives.  You don't have to be angry al the time.  You can take control and make it cease to be an issue that robs you of your joy!  You cannot be upset if you do not allow it.  If it doesn't compromise your morals, beliefs or safety get over it!
Let. It. Go.

elle