Slipped & Fell Off My Happy Track....

  Well, I have avoided any posting because I have been way off my game.  And then I thought don't be a phony, the honesty of the battle with living joyfully is important.  It would be misleading to try to sell that I am always happy and can always see the happy side of everything.  But I really fell, head over heels down the hill for a while.  I was mad about everything, I mean everything.  Although I remained grateful which is easier than happy, I was annoyed.  Little things like the music that plays in shows like Greys Anatomy, the music that keeps you from hearing the dialog.  It's so distracting and annoying!  Endless commercials is another thing.  If they show one or two I'll watch, no big deal but when they show twelve I'm gone.  I am either fast forwarding or I've gone to throw in a load of laundry.  People in blinding bright spandex on bikes who travel in the road as if they are in automobile instead of on a bike.  Then they get into a group and travel three wide. Why?
  People who don't say thank you for anything!  I won't get into politics,  there is so much to be upset about I don't know where to start!  People who tweet every thirty seconds and have to alert the the face book world everything they have a coffee. 
  Don't ask me my opinion and then get mad at me when I don't say what you expected.  Stupidity...oh boy....why am I so intolerant.
  I know we all have our own process and journey and we are constantly evolving so why am I irritated with people who are far along in their process.  Shame on me.
  I am working on getting my happy back.  Lots of reading back to gratitude.  On any given day that you and everyone of your family return home safely it's a flipping miracle, honestly.  I am not going to let myself be mad...I just won't.  But I will wonder if the same twenty somethings that tweet pictures of their lunch will be tweeting photos of their newest prescription or the mailman arriving late or worse a change in bowel movements in their senior years??????
  Let's hope the hell not!!!     

Perception, Belief & Other Illousions.....

  What you believe is largely based on your perception, it's all about what you see or what you choose to see.  Your political views your diet, style of dress, choice of friends and on and on and on.  They all depend on your perception.
  Religion is a way in which a large amount of people will come to a shared belief system or perception of life.  Military service is another.  In boot camp you broken down and then build back as a unified team sharing a belief a cause a mission.  So it stands to reason you cannot effect change in your life without adjusting your perception or belief about a particular thing.
  Any time you under therapy they will tell you to correct a problem for example addiction, you must find the underlying cause.  You must identify and challenge old thought patterns in order to do things differently.  To address a problem you must admit that it exists.
  And we choose, we choose what to believe and what to see.  Insanity is defined by doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.  Knowledge is power.  Through knowledge or new information we are able to change our perception and beliefs and act differently.
  If you want a better life, if you need to change something you must see it differently or your behavior and responses will remain the same.  Some of this occurs naturally with maturity.  What appeals to us at twelve is not the same as twenty and definitely not the same at fifty.  Who has not said "if I knew then what I know now"?  There are things that are embedded in us that are keeping us from attaining joy and we need to see them in another light to change them.
  When you first meet someone you may be very taken with them and over time you may notice things that were not initially visible that make you feel differently and you choose to spend less or no time with this person once your opinion of them changes.  So open your eyes to the traits that are causes the sabotage of joy in your life.  Take a good long look you know what it is, face it.  Some old thought process is keeping you stuck and you can't keep and change it won't work.  Expose yourself to the information you need to grow and be who you want to be.  You can't beleive one thing and soo something else......

elle 

Tend Your Own Garden

  When you are very busy in our own garden it shows.  It's beautiful and your not in anyone elses garden.  I wouldn't say that the more self obsessed you are the better off you are.  This is not a plug for narcissism.  Just try to stay in your own emotional yard.  When someone needs you, asks for help or imput of course you would be there.  But it makes life so much easier if you do photoshop yourself into other peoples situations. 
  You need to practice to constanly monitor your focus and your emotions.  If you feeling bad, then you are on a bad frequency.  So even when a negative situation prevails you find a way to change your focus to another perception of that situation or find an entirely different topic to focus to produce good feelings.  Those god feelings even if other thoughts brought them to existence will put you in a better place  and put you on track to to attract more things that warrent those feelings.
  Do not allow the drama of others to get your eye or you will be lowered to that plain and attaract like situations.  Your children need these skills, teach them. If they are taught that thier thoughts effect their life and the situtations they find themselves in then they will handle things differently and feel more in control.  They will be less inclined to be afraid to take full responsibility for themselves.
  It may not be easy but it works, and it works everytime.  Tend your own garden.

elle

Cherish The Love You Have....

  Do not get comfortable.  When your new love works and has you both floating on air it's because you are not comfortable.  You are on your best behavior and you know it.  We fall in love with the reflection of ourselves in someone elses eyes.  it's a mirror that reflects back to us the image we would like to see.  Maybe it's an image we never even thought of but we like it it, correction, we love it and we love the person who shows this to us in their eyes.
  "He thinks I'M GORGEOUS!"  He looks at you as if he is starving man and you are a steak and a beer.  It feels good and you think even more of him.  It just would not do to finally have someone see the beauty you have dreamed of being and not give them value or let them go.  It's why conartists can do what they do. 
  "She thinks I superman."  Yup, finally a woman who not only does not reject you but sees a better you than you ever dreamed of.  So you over look her flaws and focus on everything that's good, oh wait, did I good?  I meant great, yes great; in fact amazing.  So begins the process of falling in love.
  So what the hell happens???  Well, you get comfortable and you take this person who out of all the millions of people in the world this you're something.  You take them for granted.  You begin to feel entitled to this adoration and the their personal value drops in your eyes.  Flaws become at first just visable then down right annoying.  This is the beginning of the end.
  You may even think that you can do better.  There may be someone more perfect who will see you are amazing, after all he or see did, so why not?  Because it's a mistake.  Come on the grass is not greener. 
  Keep the love you have and continue to love the love you keep.  Have gratitude everyday for the love and the comfort that you have.  Remember to compliment not criticize.  To support on tear down.  treasure not trash.  Make time not war.  Give grace don't gripe. Do not compete. Do not begome opponenets.
  Forgive, overlook, forgive....love all you can.  Cherish the love you have.  Love is the key word.  I'm not telling you to hang onto an abusive unhealthy relationship. I'm saying real love that has begun to drindle. Be a friend to stay a lover.

elle  

Water Finds It's Own Level

   You have heard that water finds it's own level but many people do not understand it's meaning.  It's meaning is very relevant to any discussion on attraction or perception.  Like attracts like right?  here's another one; you can't soar with eagles if you hang with turkeys.  And the ever popular; your are judged by the company you keep.  Now let's add in one more; if you insist on playing in the dirt you will get dirty.  If you are someone who reads the bible it will tell that merely thinking about committing a sin is sin itself.  the theory is that if you contemplate something long enough it will become more acceptable, less daunting and will in time, come to fruition.  The message is perfectly clear and coming at you in many directions.  It is absolutely essential that you avoid people and situation that do not enhance the experience of your life.  You cannot not be with addicted people or dishonest people and believe you can remain unscathed by them and their actions.  If you surround yourself with people that do not support your beliefs or values they will bring you down.  If you choose a relationship with someone and you love on different levels share different goal and you do not hold the same perception of loyalty it will fail and you will be hurt.

  Let your inner voice double as a mirror to locate like souls and you find love and success, joy is an attachment of yoking yourself with the right people.  It mentions that in the bible as well.  Do you suppose a christian woman would find happiness with a non believing man who ran with a crowd that drank and gambled?  Do you suppose she would find great pain and wonder why has she been forsaken in this love.  She was not forsaken she used her free will to choose wrong.  We do this all the time.   

  Choose wisely in your relationships.  Associate with peoploe who support your beliefs and value.  Do not associate with someone who acts in a way that is not in line with how you disire your life to be decorated.  You can love many people in many ways for many reasons but in the end if your end result desires are not in line the outcome is not going to be one of joy.  You must choose joy.  it is choice that is made when you choose wisely and when an aligment does not feel right do not let it take presidence.  Don't ignore the red flags. We always see them but we somehow believe they will change color, but they don't.  why make your journey more difficult by choosing associations that are not blended and headed the same way.  It's al about choices, choose wisely. 

  When you become connected with kindred spirits the relationship and the growth and the happiness even minor discord are easily and naturally experienced.  Choose joy.....

 

elle   

The Little Things....

  Why can't we just be content?  Why do we expect everyday to be like swimming in a chocolate river, before the limo ride to the circus and returning home by swinging on a star?  It's because we are so over stimulated by the ridiculousness we see and hear everyday that an ordinary day is not ordinary it's bad! A day that is peaceful and calm and safe is an amazing day.  Everyone you love is safe and at peace.  Maybe you found and extra half an hour to read with a cup of tea or call a friend you haven't seen.

  What about being thankful and happy that you had great weather for your commute.  Imagine being absolutely joyful that your day went of off without a hitch, that's it.  No band, no lottery win just a day that you accomplished things that needed to be done and you were able to do them and your world was peaceful. 

  This isn't about lowering your expectations.  This is about assigning happiness to so many more things in your life that have gotten a bad rap for no reason at all. Why can't I look forward to food shopping?  What about being excited to go to work; knowing that I am earning the money I need to take care of my family.  What if you were looking forward to a day doing the yard work you need to do to make your home worth a second look, fresh air, exercise.  Bonus, bonus.  If we found more joy in ordinary things maybe we wouldn't be so let down by the big things, the treats.  It seems to me that this is why New Years eve is always a disappointment and most vacations don't live up to to our bloated and distorted expectations.

  Change your perception.  Be happy with more of what is not what isn't!

 

elle  

More, More, More......

    It's all about love.  Love of anything emits the strongest emotions, even stronger than hate.  Gratitude is the constant profession of love.  Add love to absolutely any situation and it makes it better.  Any conflict of any size with anybody no matter the circumstances can be made better with love.  How, might be your question, how do you get to a place of love?  With gratitude; practice daily, hourly, minute by minute and an evolution starts to happen.  You cannot possibly practice gratitude constantly and not come ever closer to love than anger or jealousy or revenge or any other negative emotion. 
  The thing is; love given comes back, bigger.  You send send it out and is gains strength like a hurricane that has stalled.  When it returns it envelops you. When you feel bad, you have bed head, sweat pants with lint, you know the kind of day I am talking about, it is not chocolate that will lift you although it's not a bad attempt. 
  Take a shower.  While your in there start thinking about what you love.  Then be thankful for having received these things you love.  Focus on everything that makes you feel good.  Elevate to a better place.  Don't think about bloat or weight gain or ants that want in.  Ignore the green pool, the broken door and empty bag of oreos.   There will always be kids that won't listen and a cat that waits for you to lay out your clothes to take a nap.  Your family may ignore you all day until you begin to do something for yourself.  Then it's an emergency, right?  They need you!  But it's ok, it really is.  Breathe and put a smile on your face.  Focus on the love you feel for them to alleviate the frustration that creeps in when you are not looking.  I wonder why we accept and wallow in despair and frustration so easy, which feels terrible but we feel like treating the emotional ailment with love is so far fetched? What do you do to turn around a bad day??  

elle